This year I never got around to writing you an anniversary letter like I usually do. Because as you know, the last few months have involved a lot more sleeping and lazy days than before. It turns out that growing a human is exhausting and there were some things I just had to let go of. So this post is coming a little over a month late, sorry about that!
4 years. Can you believe it? It seems both like yesterday, and like a lifetime ago that we stood together and vowed to spend the rest of our days loving one another. 4 years married. Nearly 8 years together. And while some things are still the same, our life is about to look very, very different.
You still make me laugh harder than anyone else can. You still push me to try new things and adventure often. You still remind me that I'm beautiful on days I feel less than. You still encourage my dreams and support my crazy ideas. You still shower me in kisses and cuddles and never say no to Netflix marathons. You still do 90% of the cooking (or more). You still love me fiercely, flaws and all. You are still the best husband I could ever imagine and I'm forever thankful for you!
4 years of growing and learning and changing and loving. 4 years of figuring out this marriage thing, just a little bit. 4 years of good and bad. And now, we get to start a new adventure, and there's no one I'd rather be on this journey with but you!
By the time we hit year 5 we will have an almost six month old baby in the mix. How crazy is that?! I remember right after we got married everyone would ask when we were having babies, and we'd always say someday. Far, far away. It never felt like the right time. We never felt ready. We had plans and dreams and goals. We had careers to build and adventures to take. Places to see and planes to jump out of. Someday always seemed so far away…. until, it didn't. I remember the conversation so vividly, that night last fall when I finally told you that my heart had changed, in a big way. That someday felt like it had arrived. And you excitedly said you felt the same. It was like this subtle, but monumental shift. This was the end of a chapter and the beginning of something really great.
Even still, nothing could have prepared us for seeing those two pink lines at the end of April. The last two months have been a whirlwind! Telling our parents, families, and closest friends. Having endless conversations about nursery decorations, names, what the future holds, what our baby will be like, and so much more. Learning that morning sickness is actually all day sickness, and that baby really doesn't like airplanes as much as it’s momma. Holding hands as we heard our baby's heartbeat for the first time, tears welling in our eyes. And now we’re moving into the second trimester, a third of the way to meeting our little peanut.
I could spend so long writing about my favorite moments from our last year together, but honestly, all I can think about is the future. And the kind of dad you're going to be (you know, the BEST one!). I can't wait to decorate the nursery with you. I can't wait to see you hold our babe for the first time. I can't wait to share sleepless nights, midnight feedings, and diaper changes. You're going to be the glue that holds our family together, just like you always have. You are going to be the one who keeps us going when things get hard. You are going to make our little babe laugh so hard, just like you do with me. You'll be a dad-joke extraordinaire. You'll teach our baby to be kind, respectful, to stand up for what is right, and to love others fiercely. You'll be the greatest dad they could ever have, and I'll be the luckiest wife to have you by my side into this new adventure of parenthood.
There are so many things I worry about. So many things I don't want to mess up. So many things to learn and do and prepare. This is a big new world, and at times it's overwhelming and terrifying. But knowing you're by my side every step of the way, well that's all I need to be reassured that good and bad, we’ll figure this out. Together. Just like we always have. This is our greatest adventure yet and I can't wait to keep walking it by your side.
I love you babe! Happy 4th Anniversary!!!
Photos thanks to the amazing Justin & Mary!! Lots more from our NYC 4th anniversary session coming soon!